1. Be multi-partial
Remain authentic to yourself while staying impartial towards the specific situation. Set aside personal opinions so they do not influence the process. Stand with all participants equally, not by agreeing, but by giving each person the same attention and space.
2. Show self-discipline
Through focused attention, patience, and observation. Manage impulses and reactions so they do not influence the dialogue. Resist the urge to intervene prematurely, allow silence, remain present through difficulty, and intervene intentionally with questions that serve the process.
3. Give space and grace
Allow dialogue participants room to be themselves – without pressure, judgment, or interruption – responding with patience, understanding, and kindness, especially when they express something difficult or become emotional.
4. Follow the flow
Be fully present and attentive to participants, their interactions and their concerns. Support the process without directing it. Adapt to what emerges without losing structure or purpose, and gradually step back to let the group take ownership.
5. Ask follow-up questions
Including challenging ones, to help participants go deeper into the roots and layers of what they are saying and feeling. Such questions clarify meaning, deepen reflection, make implicit ideas explicit, and support inclusion.
6. Listen deeply
By being fully present and attentive to both spoken words and underlying meaning. This includes noticing tone, emotion, pauses, and silence while suspending interpretation and remaining aware of how contributions influence the group’s process.
7. Create a safe and brave space
Ensure a level of safety that enables participants to share openly. The facilitator’s role is to hold the space: remain present, uphold core values and principles, and consistently maintain the set ground rules even when dialogue feels challenging.
8. Show authority
Clearly explain your role and objectives. The facilitators are responsible for the process and should use that authority with confidence when needed. Authority requires confidence without arrogance and sturdiness without rigidity.
9. Use silence
Intentionally, to convey authority, patience, encouragement, and calm. The absence of speech allows reflection, self-awareness, attentive listening, and time to formulate thoughts before speaking.
10. Create a collective learning experience
Through the topics you decide to delve into and the questions you ask. When appropriate, offer a summary at the end of a public dialogue to create space for diverse experiences and acknowledge each individual’s contribution.
11. Be self-aware
Refrain from facilitating topics where you cannot remain multi-partial. Be attentive to your own reactions and emotional triggers that may affect your ability to maintain authority. Continuously monitor your body language.